Selectively observing reality
does not mean burying our heads in the sand and ignoring issues or emotions
that truly need our attention. It simply means choosing to place the majority
of our attention on the parts of reality that we like and want more
of, rather than endlessly noticing the things that we don’t like or want in our
lives and the world around us.
Selectively observing reality
allows us to direct our focus and our actions in a way that can produce the
most effective results, and to avoid feeding energy to things we do not want to
If there is something that needs to be
done in order to allow a part of your current reality to function better, and
that action presents itself clearly to you, then take action.
If, however, you
are feeling stuck or trapped in a reality that you are not happy with, dwelling
endlessly on this reality is not going to do you any good. In fact, the more
attention that you pay to a situation, the more you are reinforcing it, giving
it power and prominence in your existence, and the more stuck you wind up
THE power OF focus
The more that we focus on
anything in our lives, the more pronounced it becomes. As Abraham Hicks says,
“Any time you are talking, you are affirming- you are making it firmer.”
the natural reaction that most of us have is to simply notice and talk about
what is going on around us, this continual noticing is not helpful if what we
are noticing is stuff we don’t want.
If we want to allow the things
we don’t like to gradually die off from lack of oxygen, we need to stop fanning
their flames with our attention by developing the skill of selectively
It often feels very unnatural to turn our focus to the
things that make us feel better, rather than allowing ourselves to dwell on
problems. Dwelling on problems is such an ingrained habit for just about all of
us, but if we want to allow the things that we do like and want
to grow and flourish, then we need to learn to discipline our habits of
WHen to leave unwell enough alone
The principles of the serenity prayer can be applied very effectively to observing reality in a way that
allows you to tend to the things that can currently be tended to, and to stop
focusing on things that are best left alone.
Courage to take action in the
things that can be tended to by direct action, serenity to leave those things
that action and willpower will not change alone, and the wisdom to know the
difference is what we can benefit from when selectively observing reality.
The things that are best left
alone are the things that seem to be currently out of your power to change.
This does not mean that they can’t be changed, simply that thinking about them
and how much you don’t like them is achieving the opposite result to that which
you desire (for them to transform or go away).
thE benefits of selectively observing reality
As we practice selectively
observing reality, it actually becomes easier and easier. Not only because we
get better at doing it, but because gradually reality changes to offer us more
and more of what we are observing, and less and less of what we are neglecting
The other great thing about
selectively observing reality is that even when nothing has changed in the
external circumstances, because you are focused on what is going on around you
that you like, you get to feel better right now. And the bonus is when you
practice feeling better for long enough, you create better vibes for drawing
more good stuff into your reality, and it becomes an upward spiral instead of a